Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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