just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
