I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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