he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
