Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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