The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
