So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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