is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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