You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
