Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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