Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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