That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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