Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
