i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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