I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well most of my day revolves around power hour
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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