what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
