is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
