Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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