This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
A bitchslap is in order.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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