my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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