I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
