Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
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You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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