well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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