Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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