i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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