We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
