Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
