drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i've created a new STD.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
