so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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