Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize