how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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