Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
