I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
