I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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