but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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