I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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