is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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