whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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