I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You ate ashes out of my bong
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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