shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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