U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize