saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay