I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'