At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
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Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.