I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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