Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
