come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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