i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
