i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
