Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize