I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
3 2 1 whiskey
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
