when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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