she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
