Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
