i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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