Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
