He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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