I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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