this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
