I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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