Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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