Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
